God has always been Father

Isaiah 64:7 Yet, Lord, you are our father; we are the clay and you our potter: we are all the work of your hand.

For almost half a year now, I've been trying to find the words to talk about my experience and feelings around seeing my dad after 12 years and sparse communication. I went to Haiti last summer for a week and surprised my dad. Talking through my experience with my therapist, all I could describe was, " it was an interesting experience." After my parent's divorced when I was 12 years old, it was seven years of chaos, lies, empty promises, and a broken family. My sister and I were the first in our immediate family to graduate from high school, and my dad did not come. The summer before our high school graduation was the last time we saw him physically. Communication has been few and far between since then. Finally, twelve years later, the moment happened.

1 John 3:1 See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are...

I thought about it for a while and said there is a void I can't put into words of not having an earthly father present for so long. However, I realized in the last 12 years that I hadn't been focused on that voice because God has always been my Father. I remember times being alone. I remember times not feeling like having somebody to talk to. I remember all the time talking to God. He has been my Father. The Father I needed in my life through and through. Just remembering how much God is a comforter, a Father, a listener, and everything you would want a Father to be, God has been that in my life.

So when I met my earthly Father after 12 years, I didn't feel a void. God filled my void. I'm not sure what the future holds regarding building a relationship now that my dad is back in my life. There is a lot of work to do and decisions to be made. I know I am leaning on the Father for what's next. For almost half a year now, I've been trying to find the words to talk about my experience and feelings around seeing my dad after 12 years and sparse communication. I went to Haiti last summer for a week and surprised my dad. Talking through my experience with my therapist, all I could describe was, " it was an interesting experience."

John 3: 16 NIV For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

There are countless stories in the bible about how God reassures us that we are His children and He loves us so much. I share this testimony because I know I am not the only one who grew up in a broken home. I am not the only one who felt that sometimes God didn't love my family because of our situation. But when we look at John 3:16, we see the depth of love God has for us through His sacrifice. My prayer for anyone reading is that God heals you from the hurt an absent parent may have caused. I pray that He opens your eyes to see that He has always been YOUR Father.