Psalm 130: 5 ESV “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word, I hope”
I didn’t grow up wanting the white picket fence; wanting to be married at 25 (or whatever age they tell women nowadays), or pictured did I picture myself wanting children because I felt that my idea of a family was taken away from me at a young age. I saw it on television but knew that was only mere fantasy. I saw failed relationships and estranged marriages all around me and said to myself that I do not desire this for my future. But what did I want or desire exactly? God had a special way of speaking to me. I always asked for confirmation about the things that were revealed to me, and He always gave them to me. Since I was 16 years old, I’ve had dreams about who I was supposed to marry. His being was never fully revealed to me, but I would see an arm, a shadow, even a beard!
However, I was in so much unbelief about those moments that I ignored them. As I got older, they became more apparent. When I became more serious about my celibacy journey, I asked God to restore my belief in who He had for me. Now, I didn’t meet him right after that prayer and I believe God was preparing me and restoring areas of me that were broken. I started to focus on my relationship with God. I really committed to saying yes to him over and over again. On those days when I would get discouraged by another failed date, my focus was still on God.
“God not only sent me the one, He confirmed it.”
I remember being over online dating sites because I personally believed everyone on there was just trash. Can I be real here? We’re in a pandemic, the chances of meeting someone were even slimmer. I didn’t feel any genuine connections through online dating. But God had other plans. As I was entering a fast at the top of 2021, I swore off online dating. My best friend recommended a Christian dating app called Upward and you can imagine how apprehensive I was. After a few conversations about not closing the door on different avenues of dating, I’ve decided to give it a go. I gave it one week before I was going to delete the app. On the 6th day (somebody shout 6th day), a young gentlemen name Curtis Singleton messaged me. The one thing I remember most about our first interaction was how he made me laugh the whole afternoon. He caught my attention. Two days later we went on a date and 6 months later he proposed. As we dated, the glimpses and moments God showed me in my dreams from the age of 16, all were revealed to me clear as day. God not only sent me the one, but He also confirmed it.
Saying yes to God is more than showing up to the altar. It’s about making a commitment to die to your flesh and live for Him. I truly believe that because I said yes to God and waited on Him, it made it so much easier to look Curtis in the eye and say yes when he was down on one knee to ask for my hand in marriage. God's promises are so true and He is so faithful. I encourage you all reading this to stay and remain in God’s presence. Continue to say yes to Him and what He has for you will come sooner than you know it.